Saturday, June 16, 2012

Class Frog turns into Weekend at Bernie's!

So it is official, school is out and summer is here! I am so excited! (insert sarcasm here) And to add to the pure excitement my 7 year old son won the class frog again this year! Yeah! Not so much..you might ask "What do you mean again?" Well that would be a funny story..we were so blessed to win the class frog last year and that turned out so well we thought let's do it again! Okay that is a total lie..last year the class frog made it about 5 hours in our house and then died and my son was so upset and still has not forgotten the trauma and decided we try it again. So I gave in after he begged and begged and I thought what are the chances that his name will be picked out of 22 kids and only 2 frogs. Well those odds would have been good but then I find out the other parents did not cave to the begging and only 3 names were put in for 2 frogs and my son was the lucky winner!! And so it begins again....and the last 2 days my kids have watched Patrick the frog like hawks and every 2 minutes come and tell me he is dead and not moving. I have to move the tank and disturb the poor thing for the 100th time so he will move and they relax. We are doing better making it longer then 5 hours but this poor frog is going to die of a heart attack or stress attack for sure and don't forget who he is living with.....my 4 year old daughter! Yeah this frog has no chance.

So let's rewind and go back to where it all began last year...where all the magic and memories were formed..okay where all the nightmares began....

My sweet 6 year old boy came home with a form to sign to have his name put in to win one of the class frogs and he was so excited! I thought how hard could a frog be and what is the harm in putting his name in the raffle. What are the chances he will win? Okay he is one lucky kid for sure and I should have him start picking my lottery numbers. He came home to announce he was a winner!! So the preparations began and the kids were beyond excited. I reviewed the paper on how to care for a frog. I called my friend who had one and I borrowed a tank and I went to the pet store to get crickets and we collected rocks for the tank and we prepared the water so it was room temperature. We were good to go! What could go wrong? It was the day of school and we went to pick up our newest family member and bring him home. The kids were so excited and the frog who they named "Appetite" was so full of life and jumped all over his tank like a maniac! So our family was expanding and the summer was here! Good times. The kids later said goodnight to Appetite and told him they would see him in the morning. So I was up before everyone and grabbed a cup of coffee and went to feed Appetite when there he was on a rock sprawled out. I thought frogs sleep weird but oh well and put a cricket in his tank.  My son woke up and ran down to see his new friend and asked if he was still sleeping and then it hit me..Maybe he is not sleeping. I walk in and find Appetite exactly as I had found him and then I knew. The poor thing did not even make one night in our house! I am a frog killer..add it to the list of Mom guilt. My son started to look worried but I did not want his last day of school ruined so I told him to let the frog rest and he can see him when he gets home. He seemed to believe he was a deep sleeper and left him alone to have breakfast and go to school. I thought I would tell him after school and we could bury poor Appetite.

No sooner did he get on the bus then my 3 year old daughter comes up behind me and states "Appetite is so cute and friendly" And as I turn I am horrified to see her holding him and snuggling his stiff dead body up to her cheek. I was so grossed out but tried to remain calm and told her to put him back because she might hurt him and he needs his home. Then I washed her hands and face almost scrubbing her skin off. I told her to stay away from Appetite until her brother came home. We went out to do errands later and as I am driving my daughter tells me "I love Appetite he is so cute." And I tell her I know and he is a good little guy and she keeps talking about him as a stop at a red light and turn to smile at her and I almost died when I saw that she had brought Appetite with us and had packed him in her little purse and had taken him out and was holding him. I was in shock that my daughter was carrying around a frog corpse like we were shooting a scene for Weekend at Bernie's. I was like "What are you doing??" and she says "He wanted to come with us" I was wondering what disease she was going to get from handling a dead frog and how is this happening. I tried to remain calm and told her to put him back in her purse so he did not get hurt. So we went shopping with a dead frog because that is what normal people do. And yes people you can judge but there are times you just give up fighting the fight. So we get home and I put frog corpse back in his tank and wait for my son to get home.

My son comes home and I have to sit him down to deliver the news. He was so upset and cried and cried and I held him and consoled him. He asked if we could have a funeral and I said of course. My daughter comes in to see what all the fuss is and I tell her the news also. She is still eating her chicken nuggets and says "You can bury him in my chicken nugget box." And so we did. Poor Appetite had a short life but he was buried in style.

So fast forward...Patrick the frog is home with us and has made it 48 hours and counting...He is doing better then Appetite but if he too does not make it my daughter might have plans to take him to the beach!

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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Say Yes to the Dress!!

My 4 year old daughter is in the "Princess" stage and everything seems fascinating about being a princess, looking like a princess and dressing like a princess. So with those ideas fresh in her mind she asked me where my princess dress was the other night. I was a little confused by this question and told her I did not have a princess dress, but her response was.."Mom of course you have a princess dress!! The day you married Daddy...duh..." And as I listen to her I start to laugh and say.."Do you mean my wedding dress?" and she says.."Yes, where is it?" I thought this would be an easy one to deal with and so I answered.."It is in the basement in the cedar closet" Her eyes became wide with excitement and the amazement that this "Magical" dress actually existed and was in the house! Now I was in trouble for sure because this will not go away easily. And I knew what was coming next as she jumped up and down with sheer glee.."Can I see it??" And at this point it was past bed time and I was in no mood so I answered.."Maybe this weekend I will bring it out and show you, but not right now it is bed time." But no...not happening..not a chance this was ending. So I will spare you the details (and I am well aware I am the adult and I am in charge. and I can say no..blah blah blah..) but some how after much negotiating and me just wanting my head on my pillow, my wedding dress was upstairs and now hanging in my closet inside the protective dress bag it had been placed in years ago. My daughter went to sleep with a smile on her face and with the image of the "Magical" dress close by. I knew I was in trouble but I went to sleep hoping for the best.

The next morning only brought more excitement and more begging and more negotiating. I had to get ready for work and a training I was giving that morning so I let her unzip the bag and look at my Princess dress and play with the veil and gloves. She was in Princess Heaven and it was cute to see her so excited picturing her Mommy and Daddy getting married, again what was the harm? I should know better by now that nothing is easy with my daughter and if I give an inch she wants a mile! So I am running through my morning routine and things are pretty smooth and maybe I will be on time for once. I run upstairs to get dressed and head out to work. I enter my closet to find my 4 year old waiting for me with a devilish grin and she says "Mom just put on your Princess dress quick before you leave!" And I look at her with horror and say "I do not have time right now, I have to get to work and I told you I would show you but not that I was putting it on, you can look at our wedding album with Daddy while I am at work." But that was not going to fly at all..she shut the closet door and continued, "Please put it on..really quick..please..please..please..it will take 5 minutes then you can go to work...promise...promise..promise.." Good lord!! I was so irritated by now and going to be late..so of course I did the most logical thing....wait for it....I put on my wedding dress. Just another normal day in my life!

So I put on my wedding dress as my daughter watched and asked a million questions about my wedding day. She helped me with my veil, gloves, shoes and of course the little jacket I had to go with my dress. I have to admit it was really fun thinking about the day I did get ready and seeing my daughter's face watching me. And so the questions continued.."Mom you do not have a bra on? Did Dad know you were not wearing a bra when you married him?" I did not have time to answer her questions because she opened the closet door and took off. So I stood there in my wedding dress (My Princess Dress) as my husband looked at me like I had lost my mind (has he met me yet? of course I have lost my mind!) he then asked me "Don't you have to work and I thought you had a training to be at?" I told him "Yes I have to be at work and I will have to tell my boss I was late because I was trying on my wedding dress!" He just shook his head as our daughter came running back in with my iPhone and started to take pictures of me and asked me to pose and walk around.  She then said "Daddy doesn't Mommy look beautiful? Can you believe she still fits in her wedding dress!" And with that my husband started laughing and said.."I would hope she still fit in her wedding dress!" (Okay it did fit great! Did I mention I was 5 months pregnant with her brother when we got married...details..details..I looked great!!) So I had to take off the dress and get to work. And yes I was late!

I had to say Yes to the dress and give my daughter some real life Princess magic!!!