Friday, March 15, 2013

How YOUUUUU Doing??? Wink Wink....

It is a normal Friday night when all the craziness of the week releases with a big deep breath and the relief of knowing I don't have to shower tomorrow morning (yes this excites me) and running in the store to grab a bottle of wine. As I run in to get my liquid therapy, I am waiting in line behind all the other Friday Freedom Warriors when I notice a guy checking me out and I feel myself blushing a little and automatically tossing my hair and trying to act like it is normal to just be this hot and pretend I don't notice the appreciative stare. Okay this is where I let you know that my "hotness" consists of me still wearing my work clothes with my Ugg boots I threw on for total comfort and my 5 year old daughters neon purple head band to pull my hair back and okay I started my Saturday morning no shower rule a day early! So with all that I am still going with my hot image of myself and now I should mention the guy checking me out was slightly older (okay he might have known Jesus) and he might have been missing some teeth and possibly smelled like he napped with a blanket soaked in grain alcohol, but he was checking ME out!! Boo ya!! So I grabbed my wine and walked out the store with a little extra pep in my step. The "I still got it!!" step. The I could have been in one the 80's Whitesnake videos for sure and rocked that scene with flipping my Aquanet soaked hair and acid wash jeans on top of a cherry red corvette. (No I swear I have not started the wine drinking yet..just grabbed my bottle)

So I am now safely inside my car and I start to laugh out loud thinking how silly I am that I honestly was flattered that Grizzly Adams thought I was a fine young Filly. How did this happen? (don't answer that!) How did I go from OMG! really how gross if a less then desirable decided to check me out all the way to..I'll take it! And I will tell myself that I can still rock it!! So life has gone from heading out all young and cute with my friends cramming into a cab over the passenger limits because the driver didn't care transporting hot now being psyched that we can all cram into a minivan that fits us all and heading out for the rare pub crawl! So now when I am thrown a Joey Tribbiani "How YoUUU Doin??" I tuck my hair behind one ear and blush a little..maybe a giggle or two...grab the kids and tell myself "You are still one hot mama!!!" 

Boo Ya!!!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Get this Woman a Glass of Wine Stat!!

I was picking my daughter up from ballet class the other day and the kids were still in the studios while the parents waited outside and I saw a woman sitting there with a little girl throwing a tantrum next to her. Not just any tantrum, but one that every Mother can relate to and I saw the look of desperation on this woman's face and I ran over to her. (I literally ran over to her and I think I might have even pushed someone out of the way in the process.) I don't know this woman, but when I reached her I asked if she had wine in her house and would she be able to pour a glass when she got home. She looked up at me confused at first because as she is trying to tune out her child that is freaking out in epic proportions, "me" the total stranger is asking about wine! She then started to smile and looked relieved and told me she did have wine and that her daughter was going to bed early and she was going to sit and relax with a glass of wine. I talked to her for a few minutes and had her laughing and by this point her daughter had stopped freaking out and was staring at me, wondering who the nut was talking to her Mom. I felt much better as we all left the dance studio and as I got in my car I started to laugh out loud. I am thinking about what a lunatic I am running up to strangers making sure they have wine because I was ready to go get this woman a bottle of wine if she did not have one. I can remember some really bad moments with my kids and feeling so overwhelmed and wishing someone had run to my side offering some kind words, or a smile or to make sure I had a stock of wine in my house!

As I drove home I was thinking about what a nice person I am to be so concerned about my fellow Moms and I had some real talents that I should be sharing. I could be a Super Hero and I started to think of names and costumes, and I could make this huge for all Moms everywhere! I think I would be the "Masked Merlot Mama" and I need to form my Mom Justice League. Who is with me?? I picture Super Hero Moms everywhere covering parks, grocery stores, ballet classes, karate name it! When we hear the whining and crying of a tantrum we know there is a Mom nearby that needs us! I picture running around the corner like Spiderman or Superman and turning in a flash into my "Masked Merlot Mama" with a cool belt that had bottles of wine, openers and glasses :) I need to get the word out to all Moms and when they are in need they need to flash the wine glass in the sky to alert the Moms Justice League!!

Okay I need to get started on my costume and building the Merlot Cave and the Merlot Mobile!! Until next time keep your eyes on the sky!