I am pretty sure the title sums up what this post is about. Yes..you guessed right...Farts!! And how kids find Farts to be so hilarious! I do realize I will offend some people but let's get real for a minute. I know that the word in itself is found by many parents not be politically correct or proper, give me a break! What is proper about a fart? But there are many parents that try not to laugh or blush and teach their children words like..tooting or ducking or passing gas..whatever seems cuter then FART! But again on the topic of getting real Everybody Does it!! That is everybody farts! (GASP) So in keeping with the adventures of Motherhood there are always stories that fall under the topic of Poop! So as many of you who have been following me know my 4 year old daughter finds the topic of poop to be one of her favorites! I should have known that when she put dog poop in my coat pocket and I wore that to work..it was just the beginning of my poop stories.
So recently my daughter has collected an Arsenal of fake poop products from the local arcade with her winning tickets..Oh joy! And I do realize that most parents would probably tell their kids that those prizes were not an option, but I was not getting off that easy with my daughter. That would fall under the category of "Pick your Battles", and what real harm could fake poop products cause?? So to my daughter's excitement and sheer delight she now has fake dog poop (better then the real stuff!), 2 WhooPee Cushions and 2 jars of Poop Goo or Fart Jars (The jar of goop that makes real fart noises when you put your fingers inside) Yes I know we are a classy family but we keep it fun. So with her joy of playing pranks on the family and using her poop products I had to set a few rules such as not using them around her grandparents and not taking them to school (would love that phone call!) and then not bringing them out in public all together. So my daughter is a smart one and she started sneaking them in her purse when we left the house and I found that out when we went to visit my friend and she had brought the fake dog poop and placed it in her house randomly. So when in the middle of our visit my friend's son started yelling from the other room and we go running and he is pointing at the fake poop and my friend cannot figure out how poop got in her house and I knew right away and had to apologize and explain. I know it is so normal for people to bring fake poop to other houses, well it is very normal for our family! I did have to laugh to myself..I have to give my daughter credit for even planning and thinking of these things at 4 years old. I am very afraid for what 16 will bring..yikes!
Okay so I think I have given a good background to get you in the theme. So let's review..Farts are Funny to kids! Yes kids are gross creatures..they love anything to do with farts and burps! Sometimes it is hard not to laugh! So I had to run out and get gas for my car the other night and my little shadow I call my daughter insisted on coming. I say "Hurry up let's go quick if you are coming." So we get in the car and she is in her seat in the back seat when I pull up the the full service station. The young gas attendant comes over and I roll my window down to ask him to fill it up and as I hand him my debit card, out of nowhere the loudest, and grossest sounding fart echos through my car! He looks at me with wide eyes and my face turns red instantly and I am frozen in shock for a second. He hands me my card back and quickly moves onto the next car that pulled up as my car fills up. He could not get away from me fast enough. As soon as I shake the shock off and realize what has happened I turn to my daughter in the back who has the biggest smile on her face and see that she has her poop goop jar hidden under her sweatshirt. She starts to laugh and says "Mom that guy thinks you farted!!" And by now I am so embarrassed and mad but cannot help but laugh. She has struck again! I try to pull myself together so I can explain to the kid when he returns to my car that I did not fart so I can try and redeem myself. I start to talk really fast and explain "My daughter has one of those fart jars in the back seat and that was the noise you heard." He has a smirk on his face and I know he does not believe a word I am saying. I beg my daughter to show him but of course she laughs and won't help me out and says "Mom you farted!" Really nice..so now he has handed me my receipt and heads to the next car to get away from the crazy farting lady! I think to myself that I am not returning to this station for awhile and as I pull away I tell my daughter "Just wait until your Prom!! I will return the favor!"
So it is not the first time my daughter has had me turn 10 shades of red and it will not be the last!
You have been warned! If you invite us to your house please frisk my daughter at the door and make her open her purse!