So I am dropping my 4 year old daughter off at preschool right before school vacation week and the teacher grabs me and says "Don't forget your daughter is Star of The Week!! When we return to school." I am looking at her with a smile and nod my head as if I absolutely know what she is talking about, but as I walk away I start to process what she said and it hits me.."Are you kidding me? Star my A**...that is code for a school project on vacation week!! And it is Preschool for God sake!!" You know how I feel about school projects to begin with and now I have to do it on a vacation week...ugh...I sit in my car and curse out loud for a minute to make myself feel better. So my daughter comes home from school with a note explaining that she will need a poster board with pictures of her and all her favorite things and she will be the class leader all week and wear a special crown and then I can come in and read her favorite book to the class. I love how people assume the Mom would love to read a book in front of 18 kids!! I would rather be stung by bees, but my daughter is so excited and telling everyone she is Star of the Week!!
Okay so we get the poster board this week and start looking at pictures and what she wants to put on it and I try to get in my Mary Poppins on crack mode and help her with this. Then my brain goes to what I really would love to do if I knew the authorities would not be called and my children taken away. I wanted to put random pictures on the board that were not my daughter and not our family and for her favorite things put pictures of Las Vegas, slot machines, poker tables, Martinis and the Jersey Shore cast! And when I go in to read to the class I would read from the Vagina Monologues. A girl can dream right? The Stepford Mom's would die for sure! Little Bobby and Susie going home and asking their Mom what a "smoosh" room was. But no...I summons my best Martha Stewart and my daughter goes with the pictures of our family from Disney and Christmas and she wants me to read "The Great Race". Not sure whose daughter she is but if you want to play it safe I will support her!
So maybe this Star of the Week won't be an episode from the Chelsea Handler Show, but there are many years until Graduation!!