Monday morning madness was upon us once again this morning and all hell was breaking lose. For some reason my family is in denial every week that Monday will come again...but it does!!!! So racing around dragging kids out of bed, finding clothes, backpacks, making lunches and throwing breakfast at them and race to make the bus and get to work! So in the middle of the madness today my 7 year old says "Mom I totally forgot.. have you seen my library book? If I don't bring it today I will be a Book Looker again!!" I stopped to see his eyes wide and a look of pure panic!!! I actually thought he was going to cry, so the guilt is too much to carry on this Monday so I run upstairs to his bedroom to start the search. I tear apart his room and then head to his little sister's room AKA "The Beast" and of course she had taken it and put it in her big basket of stuffed animals to torture her brother and hide it. I race back to show him I had found it and he was so relieved, so I had to ask.."What is a Book Looker?" My son starts to tell me in a very serious tone.."If you forget to bring back your Library book you are not allowed to pick a book out or touch a book at all, you can only look at them.." This did actually perk my curiosity and I thought he had to be exaggerating because I understand not letting kids take another book out until they bring back the first so they can keep track, but honestly they are not even allowed to touch a book! For real? So I asked my son again "They do not even let you touch or pick up a book and get ideas for next week? Your not taking it out of the Library." And he says, "No Mom, if you forget your book you are separated from the kids who did remember their books and the Librarian calls you a Book Looker, you can look as you walk around but NO Touching!" He then had to run out to the bus, and I was left standing there thinking about this Book Looker situation and started laughing out loud!
So I am driving to work thinking about my son and his class heading to the Library today and those poor kids whose delinquent Mom's forgot to pack their Library books...they will be BOOK LOOKERS!!!! Oh the shame and horror and I bet they get to wear the Scarlet Letters of B & L so all the other kids know that they are the poor kids whose parents did not care enough to send them with their books (that was me last week). And they have to walk around all these glorious books that are just screaming to be picked up and read, but No..they can only dream of maybe the next week they will join the upper class of the 1st graders and be part of the TOUCHERS and FEELERS!!! I honestly want to know what happens if a Book Looker gets really crazy and ghetto and reaches out and tries to cop a quick feel of a book. Do they get zapped!! Good Lord!!
In all seriousness this is a make or break moment for these 1st graders and how successful they will be in life. Let's get real people, do you honestly see a "Book Looker" getting into the best schools? You do realize Harvard asks Have you ever been a Book Looker? If so, How many times? They don't want the rift raft of Book Lookers in the IVY leagues, oh no they do not! And what Book Looker is going to get the best jobs and most handsome and beautiful partners in life? Not going to happen. You can just know that if you do not make sure your kids Library book is in their backpack you just gave your kid a one way ticket to Loserville! They will be plagued their whole life with doubt and lack of self esteem. They can hope at best for Community College and maybe some dates from Match.Com. And their best friends will be Jack and Daniels with some visits from Anti Depressants! You have been warned!....
Just Kidding!!!! I say screw the Librarian and her rules!! Let kids be kids and go crazy! Let them walk up and down the rows and rows of books and rub their germ ridden hands all over them!! And maybe my kid might just lick one...A Mom can dare to dream!!