Sunday, October 16, 2011

Mother of the Year!!

So I am driving on a nice fall day and as I am stopped at a light I look over and see a sign posted in front of a town hall..."Congratulations Mother of the Year! Andrea Smith". I could not stop laughing and could not believe such an award actually existed. My favorite saying is "Well I am not going to win Mother of the Year this year!" So in this cute town near me they have a Mother of the Year contest and children submit essays as to why their Mom should win. Then it is published in the local paper. So the winning essay went something like this "Her smile is like a rainbow after a fresh spring rain and her eyes sparkle like rays of sunshine and her laughter is like birds singing out side my window....blah blah blah" For real? Okay maybe I am jealous perhaps? If my kids write anything about me it is all lies. Everytime they make me a card in school for Mother's Day it is always about how they love me for my cooking (I cannot cook) and how I spend time in my garden (I do not garden) and how I do arts and crafts with them (not so much!). I kept thinking about what my kids would write for my Mother of the Year essay. Would it start something like.."I love how my mom's reflection bounces of her wine glass in the kitchen lighting as she puts chicken nuggets in the oven and the way her head spins around just so when she is in the middle of a mommy meltdown....". So sweet..could actually bring a tear to my eye.

Okay for real. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves as moms? And do we think there is this secret checklist of mistakes and do we really aspire to be Mother of the Year? I actually think it is more fun to almost get so close..within reach..and then say oh well maybe next year! I laugh everytime I hear women say "Well I'm not gonna get Mother of the Year this year!" Let's talk instead about what kept us out of the running for MOTY! Was it the day you cut mold off the last piece of bread in the house to complete your kids school lunch, or was it when you got the call from the school that your daughter had no underwear on under her skirt at school (preschool), or when you lost it and threatened to leave your kids in a Wendy's parking lot, or when you told your kid that the tooth fairy was sick and could not make it that night, or when you told your kids french fries were one of the major food groups, or when you start using Santa Claus as a bargaining tool as of 4th of July, or when you really pretend to be all torn up about not being picked again to chaperone a field trip (that you never signed up for, and you do not understand why you are not picked? bummer),or when you get the note in your kids backpack that maybe a warm coat should come to school with them now. The memories could go on and on!

So I am starting an annual award for the best reason a Mom was kept out of the running for Mother of the Year! Details to come...:)


  1. i'm just impressed you actually poured the wine into a glass. I've found that can take too much precious time from the actual consumption in those types of situations

  2. This is a Note that I wrote on my facebook wall that I titled "Mother of the Year right here" :) My two kids are Logan who is 2 and Lyla who is 1. Thought you would enjoy. Sorry for the length but I just copied and pasted.

    So Logan has pneumonia in both lungs and has been on antibiotics/breathing treatments-had it since Friday but is doing much better but kept him out of school this week just to stay away from kids who have colds. His dr. said with Logan’s weak lungs just a regular cold will more than likely result in pneumonia until he grows out of this stage (meaning his lungs are their strongest-anytime between age 2-5). Anyways, Nancy has been coming to our house each morning at 5:30/6 am to stay with him this week and I take Lyla to school. So last night Logan was back to his regular self and really wanted to go home with Mee Maw and Papa. I said yes of course because then that allows them to stay home instead of getting up at the a-crack of dawn to be at my house. So they left at dinner and took him with them. Joe said this morning that he slept all night and was back to his regular old self!! YEAH! Anyways-this is not the point of why I am Mother of The Year…..

    So, I finished dinner with Lyla since Kevin didn’t get home until after 5:30 we all played, baths,etc regular routine. Lyla goes to bed no issues we go to bed. Lyla wakes up crying at 9:30-1 minute later she is back to sleep. 10:30 she wakes up with a cry that is like she is scared-we wait 2 minutes she goes back to sleep. Kevin gets up and leaves for work at 4:30, I do my usual routine and go up to wake her up at 6am like every weekday morning and open the door and the smell is AWFUL!! I think to myself “Oh her diaper has got to be out of control!!!” I go over turn on the lamp, get her clothes out-I hear her bouncing up and down laughing like always and I turn around and there is VOMIT EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OVER THE WALLS, HER CRIB IS SOAKED, SHE HAS IT ON HER FACE, HAIR IS DRENCHED IN IT, HER GREEN SLEEPER IS BROWN, THERE ARE PUDDLES IN HER BED, BINKIES ARE STOPPED UP WITH IT, THE FLOOR-OMG I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I totally take the trophy for best parent because when she was crying last night –it was not because she wanted attention or just to get up-IT WAS BECAUSE SHE WAS SLEEPING IN HER OWN VOMIT!!!!!!!!! WE JUST LEFT HER UP THERE AND DIDN’T EVEN CHECK ON HER!!!

    But I digress, I had to leave the room before I threw up, I stripped down and went back into the trenches. I proceeded to bathe her, wash walls, start laundry, Lysol everything, scrub the floor, etc. And obviously if you look back at my first paragraph-I HAD TO DRIVE TO EUREKA TO TAKE HER TO THE WHITES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Now, let me insert here that I still was only 35 minutes late to work-yes I am that good!!!!

    She had no fever, she was laughing the whole time so obviously it was just something she ate but OMG it was the worst thing I have ever seen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean I have partied and never puked this much!!! I have NEVER seen this much puke or this kind of display. The only thing that would be worse would have been poop J

    Yep-for those parents out there ever wondering if they are breaking the sleep training rules by going up at every little wimper, just know that you could wake up to this one morning. And no we didn't hear her puking and think-well she isn't going to get us up that easily. WE may be like drill sargents with routines and sleep at our house but we aren't heartless :) I guess I will just invest in video monitors :)

    Happy Thursday!

  3. Love this!!!! Thank you for sharing...and Welcome to the craziness!!!