Thursday, October 20, 2011

Living the pocket full of poop at a time!!

When you live the glamorous life of a Mom..the topic of poop is so common (unfortunately) that I don't even raise an eyebrow..(until..but we will get to that!). Who would have known as a little girl dreaming of her prince charming and her happily ever after that the Chapter on Poop...Crap..and more poop would not have made it into the fairytale. Oh well, we Moms learn real quick that our lives will be surrounded by poop!  From all the years of diaper changing, to explosions that have you and the baby both in the tub, to picking up babies and toddlers to do the snif the bum check which seems like a millions times to the potty trainers and older who sit on the potty and then yell at the top of their lungs when they are ready to be wiped and then to passing the poor dog who has been patiently waiting by the door ready to poop right there on the floor because he is ignored half the time post kids. I would love to know how many times a day the word "Poop" is brought up in my house? From, What smells like poop? Who Pooped? Watch out for the dog poop! Do you have poop on the bottom of your shoes? Did you flush the poop? Like I said it is very glamorous!

Okay so when the Chapter of Poop in my life continued it did not shock me that my 4 year old daughter became obsessed with dog poop! For whatever reason she wanted to take over being in charge of letting our dog outside and watching him do his business and then excitedly announce when he did and run over to inspect. As a Mom you know they all go through their phases..okay so this one was a little weird but I go with it. But when she started to get so excited when she ran over and was ready to pick up the poop with bare hands, I had to intervene and explain that "We never pick up dog poop or any poop with our bare hands ever!" She looked confused by my horrified reaction but listened to me explain how to use the amazing "Pooper Scooper". So she was so proud to be in charge of the back yard clean up and announced to her brothers that was her job and nobody else better touch the dog poop. Maybe I should have been more concerned by her interest but if she was happy and not bothering me..all is good!

So I think I have given enough background on our family situation with poop that I can move onto that fateful day where I did raise an eyebrow! Both eyebrows!! It was a normal crazy morning running around making lunches, getting kids on buses and trying to quickly throw myself together and get to work. I never claim to look like a supermodel but it was raining again this morning for work and it makes it even harder when you are trying not to get soaked! I grab my rain coat that had been hanging by the front door still from the last rainy day which was just a day or so ago. And off I go on my normal crazy routine. I arrive at my corporate offices, late from the crazy rain driving and head into the office to check in with my coworker and see what is going on and we talk about how bad the rain is. I am trying to get my bearings and dry off a bit and I am about to take off my rain coat to hang it when I go to put my car keys in my pocket first and my hand hits something and Iam confused. I don't remember putting napkins in my pocket but maybe it was from my trip to the coffee shop. As I continue to pull out what is in my pocket I still have not even had time to process the possibility of what I am about to see. I pull out a napkin in the middle of my place of work full of my dog's morning business that my daughter decided to pick up with a napkin and place in my coat pocket! I am shocked and my heart is racing out of my chest from panic and my cheeks are bright red by this time and finally my brain kicks in and I race out of the office as my coworker is still talking and I fly to the nearest bathroom to flush the dog poop and scrub my hands and wash out my coat pocket. All the time I am still trying to figure out how this happened? How did I not notice? And how did I not smell it my whole drive to work?

As I pull myself together I head back to my office to very concerned looks and I have to explain myself and watch horrified looks by my coworkers and know I will never live this one down! If I hear one more time "How did you not smell it?" After things calm down a bit I call home and tell my husband what happened and asak to speak to my daughter! She gets on the phone and says "Did you get my surprise Mommy?" And I tell her, "Yes I did! Why would you do that?" she laughs and says "I thought it would be funny!" Great this is 4, I cannot imagine 16!!

Let's just say I am now known at work for bringing dog poop in my pocket!! And I check my pockets everyday before I leave the house!

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