Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Damn you "Eve" for eating the apple!!

I was giving my 4 year old daughter a bath last night and as she was playing in the bubbles she stuck her leg out and was like "How can I get these dark hairs off my leg?" I was shocked that she would even notice at her age that she had hair on her legs and I was hoping and praying I had many years before having to deal with this subject. So I start to explain to her that everybody has hair and it is part of life and when she is older she will probably shave...and then she lost interest and went on playing in her 4 year old world. I laughed to myself as I went to get her a towel, but all I could think of was when I was a little girl and in Catholic schools and we learned about Adam and Eve and how Eve ate the apple she was told not to and now women are destined for a life of pain and suffering. I remember reading the passage in the bible that was talking about women suffering and in pain with cramps..(Something along those lines..) And as a little girl it sounded pretty scary and now as an adult I know it is pretty crappy at times dealing with all the topics of Womanhood, it is scary! And I will be helping to explain and educate my daughter on all of these topics, so at that moment I wanted to shout from the roof tops "Damn you Eve!!" (I know extreme but true) Was it honestly that hard to stay away from the one apple tree that was off limits? I am sure they had a Martini Bar somewhere in that Garden and I am sure there was a tree covered in chocolate truffles and don't get me started on all of the fresh grapes that could be turned into wine! But no you had to have that apple so now I am faced with explaining hairy legs and other parts, shaving, waxing, periods, cramps, maxi pads, tampons and mood swings Oh My!!! (Think I could make a song out of this..top 40 Hit!!) I hope that was one hell of an apple!! It probably was not that attractive to be running around in fig leaf bikinis with hairy legs.

I would hope by now that you know I am kidding and not really blaming Eve for the challenges of raising a daughter (If you do not have a sense of humor you should probably leave) So I went to bed last night actually not looking forward to what will come with having a daughter. Yikes! Honestly I am a woman and not prepared at all!! Kids are a challenge in general but boys are so much easier..yes you have to deal with the stage of missing hand towels and crumpled up socks under the bed and rooms smelling like locker rooms, but pretty easy. Girls..ladies...young women..chicks...senoritas...a whole different story!! I had flashes of my journey to womanhood and laughed out loud! Good lord!! I remember being at a friends house and her outside the bathroom talking me through a tampon insertion. Or all the times of asking your friend to walk behind you and check if there was anything red on your pants and always having a sweater ready to wrap around the waist. Thank God I have some time to prepare because I definitely need preparation! I know they have books to read with your daughters to explain the changes and challenges they face with their bodies and becoming a woman, but I was thinking of going old school and handing my girl a copy of "Dear God are you there? It's me Margaret" I mean Judy Blume is a rock star and helped me through and answered a lot of questions for me..:) But honestly how do the books on the market right now really prepare our daughters? I am sure they are cute and put a sweet spin on some ugly truths, but I think we need to get real!! So I am thinking about putting together a little book, manual or guide if you want to call it to help my daughter through the crazy path of girlhood to womanhood and I like the title "Damn you Eve for eating the Apple!!"  Stay Tuned!!! 

For now Eve should wax to rock the fig leaves....


  1. YAY! I can finally comment! I seriously have NO IDEA what is wrong with my computer, but if it was trying to protect you from me, sorry! I saw that The Nitty Gritty Mommy posted this and had to tell you that THIS is what I say--ALL the time! I BLAME EVE (though I saw that you apologized, so is that sacrilegious or something?) and I wrote a post about it at http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-blame-eve.html
    I hope it entertains you as much as you entertain me!

  2. Yeah!! I laughed so hard at your comment that it was trying to protect me from you...And so funny!! I love it..I Blame Eve...love your post!! All your posts!! Big Fan!! And my apology was part of a joke....it is all Good!!! You rock..so keep on rockin!!!

  3. OMG what a riot!! I love this!!! I was shaving by 9 years old!! I don't know what I loved more, the idea of a Martini Bar in Adam and Eve-land or the waxing of the bikini leaf!!! xo DG