I am well aware that after this last MOTY moment my application will be shredded for sure. There is always next year! I should have known that I was in trouble when it involved the Lifetime channel and I could hear my husband's voice in my head saying "Nothing good comes from the Lifetime channel, someone is always crying or dying or trying to kill someone.." I will never tell him he was right, but the rule in our house is if he is home and we are watching TV..no Lifetime drama!!! But we women love the drama!! I will get to that part soon..
So life as a Mom can be pretty exciting...okay let's get real. Sometimes it can be so boring trying to be such a role model all of the time. Everything seems to fall in the world of Barney and I love you and you love me! (If I heard that song one more time I would throw up) And then you move up to the crazy world of Wiggles and Thomas the Train, Dora the Explorer (My friend calls her Dora the Whora, I laugh every time, I know so mature) And when you have really gone crazy we make our way to Spongebob Square Pants and ICarly world. So I am trying to raise my kids with values and morals (I said I was trying) and also trying to shelter them from the big bad world as long as possible, so I try to live by the mantra of no swears, no sex, no violence when it comes to their choices of shows, movies and music. I know some people who know me would not think that I would be that strict and probably think my household is an episode of Kids Gone Wild (not a real show, but sounded good!) but I keep the adult shows off until they go to bed for the most part, my younger ones are not allowed to watch my oldest playing his video games that contain mature content (he was only allowed in the last year, we figured we would let him before he turned 18 and left the house) and forget the news ever being on, talk about the worst influence. I have no idea what is going on in the world, I will go to work and people will be like isn't that horrible what happened in Ohio and I have no idea and they look at me like I live in the rural woods of West Virginia and cable TV has not made it there yet. So I think I have set the tone here to get my point across that I do try to be a good Mom and my kids are not opening bottles of wine for me and we are not hanging out in smoky bars playing Keno on a school night and I am not taking my kids to R rated movies. So with that said, sometimes Mom's have lapses in judgement and forget that we have children, not all the time but it happens!
So this past weekend I went to visit my sister and my 7 year old son was going to have a sleepover with my nephew and all was good. Well it was good until the Lifetime channel and the "Orphan" entered the picture! The kids were all playing and everyone else was visiting and we were going to have dinner together and then I was going to leave my son for his sleepover. My Niece was watching a movie on Lifetime and I asked what it was and she was telling me it was about a little girl that had been adopted by this family but she really was a 40 year old woman with some rare condition that made her look young and was not really a 9 year old girl. How creepy is that, so of course I wanted to see what this was all about and then my sister also joined and as we were watching this "Orphan" movie the kids were still playing in other parts of the house but they started coming in and asking what we were watching and that is when we should have shut it off but we were so close to finding out what happens and our judgement went out the window. We kept telling the younger ones "it is a scary movie that you do not want to see so go play in the other room" That worked for awhile but I was so engrossed in this creepy movie that I was not aware that they had come back in the room and were also watching and at one point my 4 year old daughter's voice came behind me and scared me because I did not know she was there and she asked "why did that girl put a pillow over her brother's face" I turn around to her horrified wide eyes and I tell her "She was just kidding they were playing", then my brain is like great now she is going to think that is playing and I am going to find her in my 7 year old's room with a pillow. Good lord! So the Movie continues as we keep telling the kids not to watch and go play as we are glued to this crazy movie and how it ends! So the madness of a psycho girl/woman child who escapes from a mental institution and fools families into adopting her and then she kills them might not be winning an academy award but I will admit I did get pulled in and was mesmerized. So the night continues we have dinner and the kids are all playing and life is good! I get ready to leave with my daughter and say goodbye to my son and all is good, I kiss him goodbye and tell him I will see him in the morning. I am not even in my car with the door shut yet and my son comes running out of the house barefoot and sobbing hysterically and telling me not to leave him. I am so confused he loves sleepovers and never has cried when I leave, so I go down the list trying to figure out what was wrong. Did he feel okay? Did he have a fight with his cousin? What could be wrong? He does not know, just will miss me too much so he comes home with me. We decide to plan a sleepover another time. I am convinced he must be getting sick with everything going around. It was very strange behavior from him. He asks to sleep with me that night and is very clingy..still I think nothing but he must be getting sick. I let my husband know he came home and also called my mother-in-law because she takes the kids to church and I wanted to let her know that he was home. Everyone was surprised he changed his mind. And MOTY keeps telling everyone he must be sick..never once did the "Orphan" come up. (How could that possibly have anything to do with it??!!)
So the next morning I drop the kids at my Mother in Law's house before Church and the kids were playing and all seemed right with the world. A little while later my phone rings and my Mother -in-Law calls me and says "I know what is wrong with Mikey? Did you know he watched a really scary movie at your sister's house?" My heart skipped a beat and I started to panic..and my thoughts were like "Of course I know..I was watching it with him! Yikes...my dirty little secret is out! Yes MOTY let her kids watch a God awful creepy movie and they are now probably scarred for life!" I try to say that yes my niece was watching a scary movie but they were not in the same room and they only saw a quick minute of it but nothing bad, so I don't think that was the reason. And my Mother-in-Law was like.."No I think he watched quite a bit..he knew many details about a girl trying to kill her family and she pushed a girl off the playground and she broke her leg and she started a fire and smothered her brother with a pillow and stabbed her father in the chest...and on" I think to myself yeah those are some good details. She tells me it is not a good idea for them to watch those movies and I do agree. As I am hanging up my husband is like"What was that all about?" I am like good lord I cannot tell him I let my kids watch his most hated channel..but I have no choice "I was watching lifetime with my sister and the kids came in and saw parts of a scary movie.." I had to just get it over with like pulling off a band aid!! I waited to be blasted...but he just shook his head and looked at me like really nice MOTY and he said "I told you no good comes from Lifetime drama..." So my kids were off to Church to cleanse their souls from the evils of Lifetime and I called my sister quick to let her know..."I know why Mikey would not sleep over your house..the Orphan!!!" And she was like "I figured after my son would not let me leave his side last night either.." I started to laugh so hard with her as I kept thinking last night what could be wrong with him? I was convinced he was sick...not once did it occur to me MOTY that it was he was petrified after watching the creepiest movie ever and that it possibly could be that he was scared from the girl/woman child who tried to kill her whole family and kills the Nun from the orphanage with a hammer and dresses up like a slut and tried to seduce her father when he is drunk....SO Normal!! What is scary about that!! Okay so lesson learned and my kids are back to Sponge Bob and Lifetime has been blocked from our channels. My 7 year old now insists his closet be closed at all times when he goes to sleep and let's just add that to his therapy list for when he is an adult..I can just see it now "It all started when I was little and watched the scariest movie ever with my own Mother!!" Great, and I apologize to his future wife now that even when he is an adult he will insist the closet door be closed before bed!!!
So who wants their kids over for a sleepover..you can trust me! We will be watching Nightmare on Elm Street and playing Grand Theft Auto....Go Big or Go Home I always say!! So when I lose MOTY points...I Lose Big!!! Stupid "Orphan" I still am afraid to go to sleep......
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