Monday, January 30, 2012

Mom The girls have fallen and cannot get up!!

Never a dull moment in my house! I feel like my house is a live taping for that old show "Kids say the Craziest Things!" (or something along those lines) and Bill Cosby was the host and he would interview kids and focus on the fact that kids have no "filter" and will say anything and how cute and funny they are. I think the cuteness loses its appeal real quick when your a Mom and most of those unfiltered comments are directed your way by your own children. I always thought your kids were suppose to tell you that you were the most beautiful woman in the world just because you were their Mom, and your were their hero. Not so much. My kids have no problem telling me whenever there is a commercial on for the latest ab machine or weight loss product to help me with that permanent "pooch" left over from three kids.And constantly trying to touch that "pooch" and asking if it will ever go away? Or pointing out and asking about every blemish on my face or why do I have a vein on my leg that they can see and constantly point out and forget when it is bathing suit season!! I tell them every mark, scar, dark circles under the eyes, extra pounds, veins and gray hairs have three names attached to them and they look confused every time I say that and I tell them I have all three of them to Thank for my Super Model looks!!

So I have accepted the fact that I am not going to be asked anytime soon to grace the cover of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, but I do try to stay in shape and stay healthy. So I signed up with my sister to join the Avon Breast Cancer walk to help a great cause and also train and get in shape to walk 40 miles this Spring. My kids know I am doing this walk and I have explained that we are walking to help save the "boobies" and help sick women. I try to keep things as simple as possible even when it is a serious topic so my kids can understand. I have explained to them that some kids Mom's could be sick and I am trying to help them. I have been talking to my sister on the phone about the walk recently so I am sure they have heard the word "boobies" more then they would like, especially the boys who make a face whenever they hear me.

 I would think that nothing would shock me at this point especially with my 4 year old daughter who has caused me great embarrassment in her short life so far and she seems to always top her best work. So definitely never a dull moment whether it is dog poop in my pocket, or throwing "F" bombs in front of elderly women at the store or announcing to a full waiting room at the doctor's office that the doctor tried looking at her private parts and I tried explaining it was a physical exam and very normal! (That poor doctor) So I am trying to take a nice hot shower and sneak 5 minutes to myself last night when my daughter comes barging in and opens the curtain and asks when I am going to be done because she cannot sleep unless I am laying next to her and she is exhausted! Okay shower and quiet time is over and I am not in the mood to argue so I tell her to give me a minute to dry off and get dressed. She starts to head out of the bathroom when she turns back and says "Mom do you realize your boobs are hanging down low?" I stop for a second and tell her to get out and let me get dressed. Kids are so annoying. I am well aware of the laws of gravity! She is still standing there looking confused and continues "Is that why you are doing the "boobies" walk? To save your "boobies"? By now I am so annoyed and tell her again to leave me alone and she is not budging and really is intrigued by the whole situation and almost proud of herself that she now understands, or think she understands why I am walking to save the "boobies". And apparently now after seeing me in the shower she thinks I am doing this walk to save mine from their sad post three kids fate! She finally turns to leave and then has one more question "Does Dad know your boobs hang like that?" But she does not wait for my answer and takes off. I stand there for a second shocked and then start to laugh because I will probably cry if I don't laugh. And I say out loud.."Yes your father is well aware!"

So I still look forward to walking and helping the Breast Cancer cause but no matter how far I walk according to my 4 year old daughter there is no saving my "boobies" because they have fallen and cannot get up!!!

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