I realize that most people think that when you become a Mom you instantly develop this love for all children and life becomes an instant Johnson and Johnson ad...not so much. It takes all my energy to deal with the three I have why do I want to deal with other peoples kids that I don't even know. Give me a break! And just like when someone cannot stand cats the cats will always be all over them, I am a kid magnet and they love me. I will never undertsand why! I do not feel I present myself all warm and inviting, I actually try to go with the crabby overtired look most times.
So I bring the kids to the park last night against my better judgement, I had a lapse in sanity, but it has been unusually warm the last few days. So I go in attempts to sit and relax for a few and for my kids to run around and exhaust themselves. Perfect plan until the dreaded..OPK arrival in front of my face. I try to avoid eye contact and hope he will move on and that he really wasn't looking at me, but I could not be so lucky! And so it began.."Hi my name is Bobby (I always change the names to protect the innocent) and I am 6 years old and I just lost a tooth and I can climb that jungle gym all by myself and I have a little sister and blah blah blah.." Oh my God is this really happening to me, I look around as if to see someone secretly filming me and I am on hidden camera or better yet I always wonder if I am on the Dateline show "What would you do?" So I try to keep it together and as I stand up and say "That is great Bobby! I have to go check on my kids, see ya later." and I try a quick escape, but to no avail, he is latched on and following me. He continues without any interruption "And I am allergic to milk, so I have soy and I like apples do you like apples?" I want to say to the kid " Don't your parents tell you not to talk to strangers?" I continue to walk toward my kids on the swings and pray he will lose interest. I start to canvas the park and try to see where his parents are or who he belongs to. It continues..make it stop.."I take Karate and I am the best in my class in math and I can ride my bike without training wheels.." I have to get away so I tell my kids let's take a walk around the pond and I tell little Bobby that it was so nice to meet him but we are going to take a walk now. Of course it could not be that easy! He says "I will come, let me go tell my Mom!" I want to scream but I wait to be polite, no Mom is gonna let her kid take a walk with a stranger. I watch him make his way to a woman on a cell phone and he tells her something and points in my direction and she nods and waves. What is happening? He runs back and says "My Mom said okay!" And it takes all my strength to not say "Your Mom is on crack!" So we all start walking and I am horrified that this woman I have never met just sent her kid with me, does she not watch the news!! I need to make this walk quick and get the heck out of the park! And the whole walk it continues "My Mom says that I can take swimming lessons this year and I love apples did I tell you that? and I like riding the school bus and my grandmother picks me up on Tuesdays from school and my favorite class is gym and recess is alot of fun..." All I can think of is getting home and getting a glass of wine! So the walk ends and I finally say to Bobby.."We are leaving have a good night! Go see your Mommy." And I watch him head towards another Mom sitting on a bench reading a book and I want to yell and warn her..too late he is there and she is trapped with a plastered smile on her face. I laugh to myself..good luck to her!!