I say that motherhood should come with a warning label and it should be part of your discharge paperwork at the Hospital that states "Enter at your Own Risk! And Mommy Meltdowns are a given! So strap yourself in and enjoy the ride!!" As I have said before, once you get pass the HallMark Ad part of life with kids, enter reality and you know what they say about reality?? "It is a B**CH!" And I feel like Mom's are afraid to admit that life is not a Norman Rockwell painting everyday and we need to go to the secret society and walk down a dark alley to a hidden door and enter and then you can admit in a whisper to whoever will listen and it always starts with a disclaimer.."You know I love my kids....but right now...I cannot stand them and I am not going to survive..they are driving me crazy!!" The guilt that we feel admitting we cannot stand our kids at certain moments and how could a Mom say that? Ummm...With Ease!!!!
So My kids track my meltdowns and never let me forget them and every so often they list them in order of top 10. I feel like my house is a manfacturing floor where they have that sign stating how many days since last accident but my sign is how many days have passed since my last meltdown! So I am sure yesterday will make the top 10!
It goes something like this.. I am trying to get everyone out the house and as I am running around collecting coats and shoes and ask them to start getting dressed as I let the dog out and switch the laundry to the dryer and I start the dishwasher shut of some lights and pick up a few toys along the way I come back to the kids who still have not moved a muscle and I ask again for them to get started we need to go soon. I run out to start the car because it has been cold and I come back in and pack some snacks for the ride and continue again on my whirlwind through the house and make sure I have everything and at this point I notice my kids still have not done one thing I asked to get ready and it happens!! I freeze for a second and whatever inside me snaps it rushes up through my body and everytime the scene from the exorcist comes to my mind where the girls head spins around and she is possessed and then she spits out pea soup and I lose all sense of reality and the Mommy Meltdown begins and then all of a sudden whenever my kids see the pea soup exorcist look they know it is serious and begin to run and get dressed as fast as they can!! But too late! We are at a point of no return people! I throw down whatever I had in my hands and I start "Do you think I am kidding? Why do you never listen to me? I am sick and tired of doing everything for everyone in this house and nobody listens to me! I run myself ragged! All I ask is that you get dressed and ready for me. I don't ask much from you guys..It is not fair! I do not know why I try so hard! Nobody cares! Nobody understands everything I do and how hard I work........" And on and on and on...I won't bore you with all of the details. And as I come back to reality and my breathing gets back to normal and the exorcist look is gone and I am no longer spitting up pea soup my kids are standing there dressed and ready to go. My 4 year old daughter ask me " Are you done?" And I take a second and then respond "Yes I am" And she says "Okay Let's go"
I am not proud of my Mommy Meltdowns but let's be real...life with kids will lead all Mom's to land on the top 10 List at some point!!