Again we go back to the memory of the first time we heard our children say the glorious, sweetest sound a Mom could hear!!..."Ma Ma..Mom" and at the time we squeal with delight and ask anyone who cares to listen.."Did you hear that!! They said "Mom!!" And you run to gather any equipment that will record this precious moment..cameras..video cameras..computers..laptops...and then you call everyone in the family and friends to announce this monumentous moment! Then we lose all sense of reality and encourage the repeating of this word over and over and over. So we have nobody to blame but ourselves to be in this current position! Fast forward to present time.
"Mom! Ma! Ma! Mommy! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom I am hungry! Mom I am thirsty! Mom where are my sneakers? Mom the dog is sitting on my toy! Mom can I go outside? Mom I need to be wiped! Mom play with us! Mom I am still hungry! Mom can I have a yogurt? Mom the swings are wet! Mom it is cold outside! Mom I need my hat! Mom I need my gloves! Mom where are my boots? Mom the dog pooped! Mom she hit me! Mom he hit me back! Mom I fell off the swings! Mom she won't play what I want! Mom he won't play what I want! Mom did you hear me? Mom where is my juice box? Mom can I have another yogurt? Mom how many days until Christmas? Mom what time is it? Mom can we go back outside? Mom can you come out with us!!" This all took place before I even was able to finish my morning coffee. If I hear Mom one more time today I think I am going to scream! And it is not even 9:00am! Again in what world did I ever think the sweet voices of my children would become like tiny needles stabbing my ears until they bleed! So I told my children in true Mature Mom fashion thay they were not allowed to say "Mom, Ma, Mommy or Mother" again the rest of the day! They look at me very confused and ask "What do we call you then?" And I respond, again losing MOTY points by the minute, "I don't care if you call me Frank, I just don't want to hear the other word, got it!" My daughter looks at me half confused and half scared like I have lost my mind. I feel a twinge of Mom guilt creeping in, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I don't actually think this will work but if it buys me ten minutes of peace I will take it! So the kids go off to play still confused and I hear my daughter ask my 7 year old son "Is Mom really mad at us? Her voice scared me!" And my son answers in true veteran kid fashion "No, she is having a crabby Mom moment, just leave her alone she will get over it!" So funny! And so true! So I walk away laughing, getting ready to make another cup of coffee and enjoy my crabby Mom moment alone for a bit.
Not for long, my daughter runs to find me and the words start to fall out of her mouth in slow motion "M....O...." She barely finishes and covers her mouth with her hand and with wide eyes as she had almost said the forbidden word of the day! And she stops for a second to think and says "Marshmallow can we make brownies today?" I almost choke on my coffee laughing, but man she is a smart little one. I gotta give the girl credit and I say "Of course" I think I am on to something! "Marshmallow is so less annoying and funny!" Not sure how long I will keep this up, but it is a nice break..maybe I will keep it up at least until lunch!!
So you can call me Frank or Marshmallow but don't you dare call me "Ma! Mom! Mommy! or Mother!" until my Mom crabbiness goes away...