Sunday, December 4, 2011

My Life is a Walking Talking Birth Control Ad..

I honestly do not understand why there are still high rates of teenage pregnancy in this country and how this world could be over populated? Come visit the O'Neill house when my children are in rare form and I could possibly fix some world problems..:) I know that my oldest who is 16 has already announced he is never having kids due to his younger brother and sister! Fine with me..well for now he is scared straight for sure!! I know some high schools have those programs where you have to take care of a fake baby for a week or an egg. Give me a break! They need to start a program where teenagers need to spend a week with a family that has at least a 2 year old and multiple children and when it is cold season! And then take those children out to a store for errands especially when tired. That is the best full proof birth control ever! (Wish someone made me do that..)

So against my better judgement I decided to go out to the store last night even when I knew it was a bad idea. My kids had been fighting, were in bad moods and were in rare form, but even seasoned Moms make these fateful mistakes from time to time. As soon as we enter the store for a quick trip my children both turn into 2 year olds when they are now 7 and 4. They both start to chase each other and run around like we are at the park. I am so annoyed and grinding my teeth so hard and get my best scary voice and grab both of them and lean down close so they can see the fire in my eyes and tell them they better knock if off! Not even two seconds later they begin again, good lord I am in trouble!! This is more serious then I first thought because my scary voice and red monster eyes did not work. I need to get focused and grab what I need and get out fast. My 4 year old has grabbed an apple when I was not looking and started eating it and now my 7 year old announces he has to go to the bathroom right now and cannot wait or he will pee his pants. As I grab him and direct him toward the bathroom I look and notice my daughter is sitting on the floor refusing to move and as I stop to get her my son has kept going and left. I panic that I have lost sight of my son as I argue with my daughter to get off the floor right now and walk, (should I mention a small crowd has started to watch and look at my daugher like she is a spawn of the devil). I pick her up and head toward the bathrooms and when I arrive I do not see my son so I open the mens room door (yes I did) and I yell in for him and he tells me "Mom get out of the boys room, people are going to think you are crazy!" I relax a little knowing he is okay and as we wait for him, my daughter put her half eaten apple in the water cooler and I tell her we still have not paid for that! My son now is out of the bathroom and I tell them both we are leaving, I give up. A woman appears out of nowhere standing in front of us telling me she knows that look on my face and she understands and tells my kids to be nice to your Mommy..she says "It is the only Mommy you have!" I am surprised my daughter did not have anything to say back to her..Thank God for small miracles.  We make our way to the check out and as we wait our turn I am still getting stares as my daughter pushes our cart into the lady in front us. Good times had by all. Finally our turn to get out of this nightmare and I put my items on the belt and hand the teenage cashier the half eaten wet apple. She looks horrified and disgusted as I explain I need to pay for that. Then out of nowhere my daughter bolts for the door before I am done and I am yelling for her as I try to finish and pay and I yell to my son to chase her and get her..both now are gone. I apologize but need to run and get them because they are now in a parking lot. I run full speed passed everyone in the store and find my kids outside, grab them and go back to my cashier and bagger who are waiting for me to finish and stop holding up the line. They are both teenagers looking at me horrified and now the teenage boy hands me my gross apple. I am so mortified from my screaming and running display but now I just don't care. I look at both teenagers and point at my kids and then back at them and announce "Let this be a lesson to you play and then you will pay!" They continue to look horrified by everything that has just happened and I grab my cart and kids and get the heck out of the there. As I get in my car reality sets in and I cannot believe I just lectured two teenagers about safe sex in the middle of the grocery store..I pray they don't know my teenager! My 16 year old would love that!

So yes I accept the fact that my life is a live walking talking birth control ad! However I can help my community one meltdown at a time!

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